At the front of my great-great grandfather's house were
the two rooms of my Aunt Carlota. I never went into them till after her death - when I was
already a woman grown.
When I was little my mother would tell me to go to the big 'sala' to
greet my aunt. This I would do with reluctance because I never felt happy in her presence.
- More often than not I would find her sitting in one of the big bentwood American
rockers, with which she had replaced Don Pedro's mahogany chairs.
She was a plump woman, her black hair dressed high in a pompadour. I
remember her always in a freshly ironed, crisp 'bata' of French lawn - (this garment being
something between a negligee and a Mother Hubbard). She was meticulously neat and fine
jewelled earrings contrasted strangely with the simplicity of her dress.
She was ill at ease with children, so to submit to her kiss and forced
conversation was a great trial to me, and I was always on the look-out for an opportunity
to escape. On the other hand she was uncanny in her choice of acceptable birthday
presents, which were sent to me by the hand of one of her maids and charmingly arranged
with flowers and sweetmeats on a small tray. How she could have guessed that I loved
Chinese tea cups or odd bric-a-brac is something I have never fathomed, and to this day I
have some of the exotic cups which turned my 'cambric tea' or insipid boiled milk into
nectar.
With my mother she was always frigidly polite - and mother in her turn,
fulfilled the obligations of their relationship with scrupulous courtesy. Little by little
I pieced together the story.
Carlota had been a lovely girl and a gifted pianist. She was very young
when my father brought home his English bride; young enough to be strongly influenced by
her mother who was intensely jealous of his son's wife. The pattern set up in the
household on this account was an unhappy one, my grandmother and Carlota against my
Great-aunt Felipa and the eldest daughter, Joaquina, with my grandfather trying to keep
the balance with his all-inclusive kindliness.
After his death in 189_, Carlota was cut off from the world for the
years prescribed by rigid custom. For over a year her piano remained untouched. When the
time of mourning was over she emerged a different being - old beyond her years,
neuresthenic and completely withdrawn from the life of the town - and she remained like
this till the end of her life. An intelligent business woman and expert manager of her
household, she lived aloof from her old friends and from the social life of Mérida. Even
her churchgoing was limited to the masses and ceremonies at 'unfashionable' hours. Her
eccentricities were numerous. She would buy quantities of inexpensive jewels to give to
her many Indian godchildren - and masses of beautifully embroidered house linens - which
were never used. We found these, and bolts of fine French lawn, piled in her wardrobes -
the lawn so old that it fell to pieces when it was handled.
She must have been very charitable - and she had many friends outside
of her own class; dowdy, sad women who ran her errands for her and brought her the gossip
of the town.
She died as quietly as she had lived and it was only after her death
that we learned she had been suffering from cancer for years. Only her maid and her doctor
had been aware of this - and she never thought of bothering the family with the knowledge.
In going through her things I felt a great surge of pity for her,
because her life seemed to have missed fulfillment. So much talent and young beauty had
been caught in a web of old customs and prejudice.